Sometimes when I am having a bad day I go back and reread old posts of mine to remember good things and get a better perspective on my life. I wrote this back on September 9, 2008. I have accomplished even more now than what I listed here and I am grateful for the chances and blessings I have been given.
“The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. . . . I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less”
-Anna Quindlen
So I just went to Shauna's myspace page and I heard her song and I got to thinking. Her song is "Don't Blink" by Kenny Chesney. It talks about how fast life passes and that if you blink you will miss a lot.
Now with all four kids quietly sleeping in their beds the song makes me all choked up. It is so true, they change so quickly, life changes so quickly. It has been eight years that I have been married to Greg. I have finished college, watched Greg go through Law School, moved to Kansas and back, seen Greg as a prosecutor, and as a defender, bought a law firm, bought a house, sold a house, built a house, and most importantly been pregnant three times with four beautiful children. I have seen the first day of kindergarten, been called into the principal's office because my kid was in trouble, learned how to deal with ADHD and Asperger's Syndrome, attended Parent Teacher Conferences that have left me so depressed and down I couldn't stop crying and ones that have left me so proud and happy that I couldn't stop hugging that poor kid. I have taken kids for stitches, been to countless soccer and tee ball games, sat through tumbling class and Kung-fu classes so that when they ask "mom did you see me?" I can say yes and mean it. I have carried babies so small through the store that people have stopped me to tell me that they "thought that was a real baby." I have potty trained two kids and am working on two more. I have been a substitute teacher which has made me contemplate being an actual teacher. I have given up on my dream of Med. School thousands of times only to pick it up again a thousand more. I have kissed more owies, rocked more sick babies to sleep all night long, cleaned up more play-doh, broken up more fights and been thrown up on more times than I can count. So yeah, a lot has happened in those eight years and sometimes when I have three toddlers screaming at me all day it is hard to remember that these are the times that when I am old I will look back on and say "those were the days, I miss those times."
I go back to having the four kids all sleeping quietly in their beds and if I don't look around at the mess that is my house I can feel that these are the days.
So my point is that I am making a resolution to try harder to remember that these are the days when my kids are awake and rowdy and messy so that when they are grown they will look back and think, "those were the days, I miss those days" and they will come home to me, because as Emma told me today "even when I am a grown up you will still be my mommy and daddy and I will be your baby girl."
I think I will re-resolve to try harder and be the happier, more patient, and more content wife and mother that this beautiful family deserves. :)
